My glance is momentarily stolen
By a rare scream of jubilation
And it costs me a dinner, or two
So I cannot even smile at that

I can only smile as a front
A sham. Utterly insincerely.
At people I don’t care for
Or whose livelyhood I endanger

What life is this, I ask
In front of the table
My head unnaturally low
Eyes still fixed in space

It’s new to me. Glamourless.
I fold another hand
Mostly waiting on change
I guess most of us are

Wishing for things to hurry up
So we can make more money
For a life we spend mostly waiting
A vicious trap. I raise my dueces.

Waiting. Always. Meanwhile…
Dieing. What life is this?
Three of a kind, no suprises there.
Just smoke, and noise, and money.

I wonder what road you’ve walked
To what odd men you’ve surely talked

I contemplate just how you came to be
A person so much worse than me

Set in stone by some chance combination?
Determined by adolescent recreation?

Whom to blame for what you are?
By what fate you’ve come so far?

To cross my path and make me see
Just how miserable a life can be

I stare into your abyss of a soul
Grab my walking stick and off I go

Each step widens the gap between
What I can see and what I have seen

Some place down the road I may recall
You weren’t really so bad after all

tattered dreams began to creep
i could scarcely think of sleep

i looked about and was not alone
everywhere lie a restless drone

pain escaped in troubled breathes
dismantled wills must acquiesce

told to work and to procreate
distempered men we incarcerate

fear subversion, but not of self
distraction successful, ideal of wealth

failure impossible, self medication
easier to swallow the external delegation

lie still and they will lie too
it’s what society requires all do

eyes closed for restless slumber
just until they call my number

the rain fell down my face too
and I sniffled with the wind
what else could a child do
all around me malice grinned

a flash of lightning struck the ground
the newly-splintered tree despaired
meanwhile, his fists barely made a sound
but screams and thunder left me scared

I shivered, wept, and gasped for air
covered my ears in vain and hummed
this was the world – cruel, unfair
in which night by night I numbed

I sat with my ear plugs
shouting just loud enough
to drown out the fellows
rants about whatever

I could hardly stand to
watch him sit there
like a useless broken
furnishing by the fire

I rarely looked up
doubting he cared anyway
lost in my own thoughts
actively ignoring the fool

because some of my blood
ran through his veins
he was useless nevertheless
hardly worth talking about

across space and time, it spews these sounds
in tuxedos suits or in silken gowns .

it bares its teeth and squaks quite loudly
flaunting ties and bows pretty proudly .

the noise, the sounds, the squaks the same
taught to speak, and no refrain .

most mouths move and spew that way
few do manage a thing to say .

boisterous mouths, the incessant babels,
alternatively, perhaps, society just unravels .

that all one saw could be obtained
that life was living unconstrained

how I ran past youth, swift and sure
convinced, completely, the world was pure

upon arrival it became quite clear
this world was theirs and I was here

not for my own desires to pursue
just a worker to support the few

the few that owned all I might want
and I’d work fiendishly or be forgot

so I did, I laboured, a jaded slave
their walls to build, roads to pave

whatever made, I could not pretend
belonged to me, I was not an end

a system with no king for a coup
only politicians that corruption renew

they preached me free markets, not men
made idleness and free thought a sin

god on their side, then science too
where I found hope, they would construe

only reminders of work to be done
sold me their lies, one by one

in frustration I bred my own replacement
stupid, hoping they’d get better placement

so I gave away my life; now feeble and old
can barely subsist on the money they stole

how long should we live in quiet protest
in a system that lets only dead men rest

in some remote temple stare
at mirages, however, fair

actualizations hardly theorized
all potential there unrealized

a beacon for, well, just the two
journeyed by and could not eschew

weary drifters they came to see
how everything there ought to be

perceived in awe the tailored art
renewed their will to impart

what they want, what they will
of course the statues remain still

how long before the place is lost
all its meaning simply tossed

what yet is there left to convey
but to what might it give way

a peaceful place, but how enduring
when all about it life is churning

how long dare the visitors remain
the statues stare as if in vain

beautiful, constant, fixedly glaring
and two travellers, perpetually preparing

so long ago, inside they crept
and never left, but only slept

the orange pair was fine,
but matched no style of mine,

black leather, khaki plaid, muted blue
too many options for a god-damn shoe

massaging insoles, ventilated sides,
advanced synthetic or traditional cow hides?

blinking lights, open-ended or enclosed,
who on earth, all these variations, proposed?

I can’t wear blue, I’m feeling sad…
risqué red, on a man, just looks bad…

black is far too common, white much too plain,
green is ugly; pink, maroon, purple – I disdain.

Velcro screams senior citizen; curly laces lame
buttons on a shoe – now that’s a crying shame

I want convenience, simplicity, yet outstanding style
trying on pair 14 of 975 – I’ll be here quite a while

ah, to hell with this whole shoe game…
I’m going home barefoot – just the way I came.

it semed immenent
until she
appeared

i became lost
in lust
immediatly

my life was
no longer
mine